


it always goes to shit

by Yurick



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post Season 2, Post-Season/Series 02, Smoking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, just wanted to write some depressing billy stuff and explore his character ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:16:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19813066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yurick/pseuds/Yurick
Summary: Maybe Billy was the only fucked up person around here.





	it always goes to shit

A small spark of the lighter and the flame lingered on the end of the cigarette, turning its crisp white end red as the tobacco started doin’ its magic— or at least, once Billy raised the filter to his lips; took a big drag and let it linger there for a moment, let the burn of the cigarette smoke sit on his tongue and in his throat before he exhaled and it all came out in a plume of grey, visible in the dark of the night sky. It was one of those quiet nights (which, in his opinion, weren’t exactly _rare_ in the small town of Hawkins, Indiana), none of those horny high school boys rubbing up against the cows at some shitty ass party, but it hadn’t been so calm just under an hour ago when he’d had to deal with Neil screaming his head off about some shit or another. Couldn’t really remember what the hell it had been despite taking the brunt of it all; probably somehow negated whatever lesson he was trying to teach him about _respect_.

“Tch, respect,” he huffed under his breath as he took another drag, real deep this time so he could imagine it fillin’ up both his lungs and his head, hoping it would turn his brain to mush if the metallic taste coating his mouth wasn’t working on it already.

It wasn’t that he forgot everything that had just went down, but it got so clumped up that it was hard to distinguish what the hell his old man got so pissed off about these days. It was always either Max or Susan or just Billy’s general existence that set him off, and no matter what it was, Billy always took it. Took it like a champ, he thought, just the way his dad had said it when he clapped his hand over Billy’s shoulder when he scored his first basketball shot back when he was young and stupid, and somehow Billy hadn’t flinched that time even though he wasn’t expecting nothin’. Stupid how at times like this he thought of those fleeting moments in the past, maybe five total, where his dad had actually acted like the thing he claimed to be. All those other times were just repeats of tonight— even worse, sometimes. At least this time Billy’d walked out of the house with his goddamn face intact. Sometimes his eyes would swell shut so much that he had to fumble for the phone on the wall and call in sick to school the next day— sometimes, he wasn’t even conscious enough to do that.

He flicked the end of his cigarette, let the ashes curl up against the pavement before he dropped the whole thing and crushed it with his foot, the same way his dad had ground his heel against Billy’s ribs and shouted “fuckin’ queer!” before spitting in his face. That was this time, if his mind was workin’ right for once. The cigarette rolled underneath the pressure of his boot as he rubbed it against the asphalt like he wished he could’ve done to his old man. God, but wasn’t that the dream? Hitting his old man back until _Neil_ was the one who was black and blue and red and Billy’s knuckles would be equally red, probably stinging under the force, just like he had beat Steve Harrington’s face until _Maxine_ -

Billy whipped out another cigarette, thumb struggling against the lighter for a second before it sparked back up, and he took a big hit like it was going out of style. What he wouldn’t give for something stronger right now, but his weed was fresh out. His dad was for shit.

His dad was for shit, but he knew, maybe not even that deep down, that maybe he was for shit too. Maybe his dad wasn’t.

Maybe Billy was the only fucked up person around here.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a short drabble that I had floating around my head. i've always thought billy was a very interesting character and knew we didn't fully understand him, and as of recent i've just gotten suuuper into him. billy has a lot going on, and I just wanted to explore a little more of his character. not everything is as black-and-white as it seems. hope you all enjoy it!


End file.
